Monday, August 15, 2011

When You're Crying a River - At Work

A professional environment presents difficult challenges to chronic pain victims. We may have the most ergonomic environment that exists, but let's face it. Unless we're an athlete, these don't include ice packs, heat, massage therapists on-call and a specific goal of making sure we are fit and healthy.

Nobody really cares how you feel in a professional setting - your mind is supposed to still work. And your body. Yet you are supposed to need nothing outside of hard, nasty chairs (come on, which ergonomic chairs are made by LazyBoy?) to make you feel like 100%.

So you take this corporate America, add a crazy economy, being over-worked or over-stressed, throw in bad weather, make a Monday morning, and here you are, if you are me, crying at work. Not that home would be any better. Heck, I'd be crying at home too. But at least I get paid to cry here.

How to be most professional when you are at your worst?

1. Know your weaknesses. Thanks to people that like to tell me sh*t about myself, I know that apparently I am bitchy at work on Monday morning. So I do my best to stay away from people, healthy or not, when the week starts. Still, people seem to like me in spite of my fatal flaws, and seek me out to say hello, even though I'm hiding behind my sunglasses, computer & headphones. Oh well. I just try to talk cheerful and keep my face turned away. What else can you do.

2. Do the least you can & still get by. If you know you will be a poor performer Monday morning, T yourself up at the end of the week to look good & then just do as little as possible when you are about to lose it. Keep the pressure down. This may mean taking a lower-paying job, not flying all around the country, & getting rid of client contact in the morning. But heck. If you can't be your best, you won't keep the job. So find a job that allows you to be off at times, and especially on Monday morning.

3. Don't tell your boss. Beyond setting up an ergonomic workplace, required by law, and requesting religious accommodations (something entirely separate) there is very little you need to discuss with your boss. Co-workers, perhaps, especially if you are asking them to share some of your load. But keep in mind, anything you disclose can and will be used against you. Especially if you are a minority, i.e. a woman. It will get you nowhere to complain. Just keep your business to yourself. If you need to visit the doctor, go. But don't elaborate. Physical pain is a private thing and beyond legal protection, out-of-the-office coverage, and work-load restructuring, people do not need to know. Build a reputation for being known as a hard, smart, efficient worker, and people will give you slack when you (shockingly!) underperform,

4. Call in sick. If you would be better off at home, know you can't get it together, and will make yourself look bad by being at work, stay or go home. But if you're like me, and you know you will get better later on in the day (FMS apparently is a morning hormonal problem, exacerbated by the weather), then just be quiet & wait it out until you feel better. People will tend to remember the best of you, and the hard-working part of you, as long as it's a trend.

5. Cry it out. Like Tyra told the America's Next Top Model contestants, sometimes you just got to cry it out, otherwise you will look like you are about to cry all day long. Go to the bathroom & admit to yourself how bad you feel. Once you stop putting on a show for yourself, get out there all that fear & frustration, you will feel better emotionally, be less likely to take it out on others, and at least know what the hell you are crying about.

Being professional in pain is a whole new challenge. Luckily as a performer I've learned a bit of professional armor. I don't like to carry it around all the time, but sometimes you just need to smile through your tears. Other people will never understand. Don't try to make it happen, just cry your river & watch the flowers grow.

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