Mornings With Garfield - Pain-Management in the A.M.

Since there are multiple parts to my day, I am splitting my "A day in the life of..." segment up into sections. This is about mornings.

(Must-do things are *starred*.)

Yawwn. Begin Garfield impersonation.

Wake-up time: 6:35. Leave a few minutes for trying to roust myself out of bed at 7. Make time for the pain. Purpose: Create space for self to face the pain.

*Pain-ID time. Figure out what hurts right now. Put ice-packs on my neck, lay on heat, whatever is needed to get going. Purpose: Get over sleep & position-related muscle strains.

*Stretches: Bent-over rows with stretch band around door handles. Pullbacks, with straight & bent arms. 2 minutes. Purpose: get oxygen flowing through the muscles & move injured ligaments.

Sit-ups: 20 full-body situps with legs kept off the floor. Works my abs, quickest & best exercise ever. 2 minutes. Purpose: get hourglass shape.

*Protein shake: Melaleuca's Vanilla Protein Shake - 3 scoops (30 grams) of protein. Purpose: For weight-loss, nutritional support and energy management.

Pour in:

- Liquid Vitamin B12 and Folic Acid supplement from Vitamin Shoppe (#1 recommendation for your nerves, just read the bottle. And yes, FMS is a nerves problem, though I bet you a million that your doctor never suggested you take B12...).

- Cell Food (liquid oxygen, supposedly).

- Whatever other liquid nutrition you think might be important. (My step-dad sends me stuff like Mushroom Master, Ginko, etc.)

- Add grapefruit juice, & (distilled or de-chlorinated) water (I add carbon from the soil & some other healthy additives to add back nutritional value to distilled water).

Grab shake & head toward shower.

Excedrin: On the way to the shower, pop a couple of pills for pain control. Purpose: Mood enhancer.

*Hot shower: Drink shake in shower. Rotate ouchy parts for 20 minutes under as hot water as possible. Focus on where it hurts. Finish with cold shower year-round. As cold as possible. Purpose: Get oxygen flowing through the body.

Get dressed: Yeah, I don't go out nekked. Purpose: Unknown. :) Ok kidding. In New England clothes are a #1 protector from pain, especially in the winter. More on that...in the winter time!

*Breakfast: 4-Hour Body Breakfast. Eat 1/2 can of legumes, some cottage cheese, a few forkfuls of saurkraut. Or a couple eggs. Something high-protein, slow-carb...while listening to Kiss 108, Matty in the Morning! Purpose: Weight-loss, energy management, mood enhancer. Someone's life has GOT to be worse than yours!

*Take Vitamins: Melaleuca Prenatal Vitamins, Z-Plex from Bronson Pharamceuticals (best B ever), Melaleuca Florify (for digestion), Melaleuca Provex (for FMS, supposedly grape-seed extract helps), Vitamin D3 (for muscle repair, athletes use it). Rotating mix of supplements, sometimes coconut oil or cod liver oil or whatever seems to be nutritionally helpful. Purpose: Restore nutritional deficiencies.

Off to work: Take least stressful route possible. Drive to train, take commuter rail. Pay up folks, make your commute stressless. Includes 15-minute walk across town with deep breathing. Purpose: Reduce stress & therefore, pain.

Buy a rose for my desk at Jayne's Flowers: Purpose: Huge pain-distraction technique

Buy coffee at Starbucks: Coffee helps wake up; friendly Starbucks staff energize. Purpose: Weight-loss, mood elevator, energy-creator.

Sit down at desk, begin working...

To be continued...of course, with Dilbert up next...