"Arms, I honor you. You make my life happen. You support my writing, which pays my bills. You played the violin. You carry my luggage on vacation. You help me move to a new place. You hug my friends. You pet my cat."
"Back, I honor you. You sit all day long and hurt so I can type and write, and you make everything possible."
"Legs, I honor you. You carry me to work everyday, you work out at the gym to look sexy & guys love you. As someone just said, you (my legs) got me dinner last night!"
So went my thoughts to myself, as tears streamed down my cheeks during the inaugural massage of my vacation.
Hating your body when you hurt is just so fundamental that you MUST learn ways to honor it. Whatever works, praise it. Baby it. Honor its functions, if not its form or HOW it feels to produce results for you.
Why should you do this? How do you expect to recover or lower your pain levels with hatred as a motivator? Won't happen.
Laying on the massage table, I compared myself woefully to a restored Model-T. I look pretty on the outside, but ain't no way you're gettin' 80 outta this baby. Or heck, even 50.
My body has worked hard over the years. It has brought me around the world, to 50 countries, pays my bills, and loves the people around me. But do I love it for all its sacrifices for me? Not so much. In fact, I hate it.
My body has betrayed me. It, who was supposed to bring me pleasure, success, and satisfaction brings me pain, depression and fear (I will not be able to survive).
When you are betrayed, what do you do? You take revenge. You say "F*#@ you" and try to hurt what hurts you back. So what does this look like with pain? If something hurts you ignore it. ("You again, neck pain? I don't have time for you! I wish I didn't HAVE a neck to hurt!" ) Or you make it worse. ("Yeah I don't really care how you feel, Mr. Shoulder. Do you care how I feel? You just hurt me all day long. So you're gonna lift weights now cuz you can't hurt AND be ugly too.") (See Beauty & the Beast post for more on this.)
The reason you have to do this (love your body) is for your brain. Yes, your brain betrays you too. It's the reason you have this crazy illness in the first place, probably. But your brain is really caught in the middle. Like Switzerland, your brain has to mediate. It also has to keep you going.
Your brain is the one that gets the message that you babied your body. When you have FMS your body won't necessarily get it. Anything that hurts becomes revenge, even when you don't mean it.("You just went to the chiropractor. Wait, he made MORE pain? Dammit!" "This massage hurts? It was supposed to help! NOOOO!") But still, your brain knows it's for a larger purpose. (Hurt now, happy later.) Even if what you do to help hurts, it's still facing the betrayal head-on.
So today your exercise is to - baby yourself. Be nice to YOU. Even though your body hates you, love it back. Healthy people baby their bodies. Why shouldn't you be the same?
It's not your body's fault you got sick. Stop blaming it & start loving those curves. Ouchy & all.
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